i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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