If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
