I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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