I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
