Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
