dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
