2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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