it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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