That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
