No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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