You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize