Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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