i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
