the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
