my being single is dangerous.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
