i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We just shotgunned beers for America
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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