I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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