elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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