awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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