I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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