i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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