I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
