I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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