Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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