i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
