you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
no. you can't hotbox the world.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
