I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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