I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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