i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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