he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
