Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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