Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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