Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
