While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize