Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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