My brain says no but my pants say off.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
