addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
