By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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