their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You should frame my arrest warrant.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
