you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
