called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
