Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
