erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I have already put on my inside pants.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
