I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
