apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
