You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
3 2 1 whiskey
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
