I think i sorta joined a cult last night
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
