Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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