Plan B is the new Plan A
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
