don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
