i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
