if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
