i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
