Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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