It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
