i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize