I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
