apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
