Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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