i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
