? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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