we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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