Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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