I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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